Trouble being excited

I would just like to start- I am very happy and excited about my husband. We’ve been together 5 years. We got married in July, and we had our honeymoon planned for Maui. We had plane tickets booked but we hadn’t booked our resort yet, even though we had it picked out. Now, obviously there has been a terrible amount of destruction in Maui and we wouldn’t dream of going to any of the Hawaiian islands while they are dealing with this- but I still hope to eventually. This was the honeymoon I had been planning for the last two years- relaxing, beach vacation, maybe with surf lessons and some hiking/sightseeing. Now. Our airline wouldn’t refund us- they said we could change the tickets to some other US destination but we wouldn’t get our money back. They said we could try to go through insurance but it could take months and we don’t have time to do that- or money to spare to wait to do that. So we pivoted. Originally we were going to stop in Disneyland so we looked into doing our honeymoon in California. But none of the places seemed right- they were much more out of our budget, or were booked up for the time frame we were looking at. If we had it our way, our second choice would be to go out of the country. But our airline won’t let us do that. Okay. So we booked flights to Florida. We are doing a 4 night Disney cruise to the Bahamas (some beach time, some time out of the country) and then we also booked 6 days at Disney world.

And I am feeling so incredibly anxious about it. I looked into cancellations but Disney does not do cancellations and now I am just feeling trapped.

On top of all this his Grandma just died yesterday and the funeral is in the middle of our honeymoon and I just feel awful. If it was my grandma I’d probably cancel. He said he would be fine either way but I don’t want to upset his family for being those people who skipped a funeral for a vacation. Also. My dad made some comments yesterday about how this would be our one big vacation that we would get to do and likely won’t get another (he repeated this several times) and I just feel so sad and upset about how it is playing out- because it is NOT my dream honeymoon. And my husband is so so sweet and considerate and I want to do right by him and his grandma.

So today I am really struggling. Because if we cancel, we lose all the money we have put into our vacation and all the work days we have taken off. Logically, I should be excited but I am just so upset about the timing and the loss of what I thought our honeymoon would be.